I still remember

        I remember when I was a kid and I used to play in the snow, I used to love it but now it just seems cold and sad.
        I remember my first kiss when I was seven, with this kid that I had a crush on. He asked me not to tell anyone, but then ran out and told everyone himself.
        I remember when I got grounded from my phone for two years.  I remember how mad I was at my parents that day.
        I remember my first trip to Disney land, and how I thought it was the most magical place in the world.
        I remember when I used to love watching Spongebob, and how it was my favorite show.
        I remember the first time I told someone I loved them, and it wasn't my parents.
         I remember when I used to sit on the window seal at night and look up at the full moon, and it always felt like it was watching me back.
         I remember promising my sister that I will always be there for her, and I still keep that promise.
         I remember the fist day I found out that my older brother was injured because of an accident, and them telling me he was going to die.
         I remember my first best friend, and how now we don't even talk.
          I remember......

        If I didn't remember things I would be lost today. This are the memories than keep reminding me that life can be sad, but it can also be happy.
       

Enough with the all the sadness it's time for laughter!

We all feel lonely sometimes!

Mad World By: Gary Jules

All around me are familiar faces

Worn out places, worn out faces

Bright and early for the daily races

Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses

No expression, no expression

Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow

No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny

I find it kind of sad

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you,

I find it hard to take

When people run in circles its a very, very

Mad world, mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good

Happy birthday, happy birthday

And I feel the way that every child should

Sit and listen, sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous

No one knew me, no one knew me

Hello teacher tell me, what's my lesson?

Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny

I find it kind of sad

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you,

I find it hard to take

When people run in circles its a very, very

Mad world, mad world, enlarge your world

Mad world.

I love this song, and I wanted to share it with all of you. I hope you like it.

Steps on how to let things go

1.                Don’t be afraid to move on.

2.   Realize that you are holding on to tight.

3.        Realize that they have changed.

4. You have to believe that when you let go   that everything will be easier.

5.     Believe that the pain will go away some day.

6.    Learn how to forgive and forget.

7.   Don’t hate him/her

8. Let go of the pain that they have caused you.

9.  Keep your head up high.

10.         Learn how to be happy aging.

 

Once you have taken these steps and learned to let go you never know what might come your way.

We all struggle

Broken

Broken bones had been beaten, touched left intact.

Different

What holds me back the most, are my own mistakes, my own shadows.! 

This is something different.
The one with words inside represents me. 
The ones that look dark, are my own shadow and mistakes that hold on to me. 
They don't let me go, they stick around to remind me of everything horrible that I did.
They tear me apart, but the thing that puts me back together is hope that I have.
Even though they make me feel useless and unwanted.
There are people that tell me different. 
They are the ones that you should hold on to.

Idk

Quotes

List of thing to do before I die

Go on my mission

Go to college

Get married

Have a family

Do some stupid stuff

Change the world

Learn new things

Make new friend

Travel the world

Get old

Give all my money away before I die

Lost

Song By: Senses Fail

Slow Dance

So how can we find ourselves?

Trapped in our own private hells

Where we just scream but no one can hear

X marks the spot where the dig begins

The treasure is found within

The broken hearts that are soaked with fear.

Thank You!

You abandoned me as a child,

You never gave me a chance.

You never loved me like a mother should have.

I spent every night, thinking of what I did wrong!

Thinking of things that I did too make you leave.

I have always blamed myself for your mistakes.

I thought I was a mistake, that I didn’t belong here.

Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw your reflection.

It was telling me that I will never be good enough.

I guess you were right.

I have been rejected, hurt and broken.

I became unfixable.

Until, they came.

They fixed me; they showed me what love was.

They made me feel like I was important.

Like, I could be cared for.

I also learned that your mistakes weren’t mine.

There was nothing I could have done to stop you.

I finally learned how to let go.

I learned what fogginess was.

Then I did one thing that I tough was impossible.

I forgave you, and I felt good.

So I am grateful for what you did.

And all is left to say now is  Thank you!

I'm Tired

I’m tired of being sad

I’m tired of yelling

I’m tired of crying.

I’m tired of pretending.

I’m tired of being angry.

I’m tired of being alone.

I’m tired of feeling crazy.

I’m tired of remembering.

I’m tired of not knowing.

I’m tired of missing people.

I’m tired of needing help.

I’m tired of not loving and not being loved.

I’m tired of being different.

I’m tired of feeling stuck.

I’m tired of feeling worthless.

I’m tired of feeling empty inside.

I’m tired of not being able to just let go.

I’m tired of wishing I could just start over.

I’m tired of dreaming for something better.

But most of all, I’m just tired of being tired.

Picture Quotes

I love picture quotes.. They bring me joy in life. I want to share some of that joy with you.. sorry not all of them have the the person who said that quote.
So here you go!

Death

Death makes things real, it makes you feel pain. Pain that you have never, felt before. It makes you realize that life ends. You can't stop death. Sometimes it comes out of nowhere it hits you so heard, that your own feet can't keep you up. Sometimes it makes you wonder. Why them and not me? How am I better than that person? Why do I deserve to live? But it won't answer you.
It wants you to be miserable. It wants you to cry yourself to sleep every night. It wants you to crumble to paces. It wants you to stay down forever. But you have to get back up. You can't have death controlling you. You have to look in to the future, and realize that it does gets better.
You cannot blame yourself. Death will make you feel like it was your fault. It will make you think, "what if I was there when it happened, maybe I could have stopped it," or "If I told her/him not to go out, maybe they still would be alive." NO STOP! It's not your fault, it never was.
It happens to everyone. You just have to be stronger than death. I will tell you this, it does get better. Life goes on. Sometimes it may not seem like it, but I promise you it does. Each day, it hurts just a little but less. Each night you’re tears dry just a little but faster.
The pain gets easier to deal with. It won't completely go away but it will get better. I know this for myself, because I lost someone close to me. It seems like my life was over, but I told myself that I can have this affect my life to much. So I got back up and I’m still going. It doesn't mean that I forgot about that person. No they will always be with me.

More qoutes

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

-Reinhold Niebuhr

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

-Oscar Wilde 

Do all you can to make your dreams come true.

-Joel Osteen

I made decisions that I regret, and I took them as learning experiences... I'm human, not perfect, like anybody else.

-Queen Latifah 

Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.

-John W. Gardner

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

-C. S. Lewis

We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

 

 

 

 

Fear

I sit here and my mind is blank…

What am I afraid off?

I guess

I am afraid of loss.

Pain

Broken people

I’m afraid of myself.

I’m afraid of change.

I’m afraid of spiders.

I’m afraid of snakes

I’m afraid of the unknown

I’m afraid of death

These are the things that I am afraid of. It’s not all of them, but I don’t have that much time to share all of the things I am afraid of. Maybe someday i will, but that’s enough for today.

 

Procrastination

I would have started this earlier but......


I will finish this later.

 

 

 

Brick Wall

 

Indestructible

Protective

Tall

These are the words to describe the brick wall.

The same brick wall that I build around my heart to protect myself from pain.

I don’t like to feel pain.

I hate crying.

So I keep this wall, the wall that keeps harsh words away from me.

That keeps my heart from getting stomped on.

From being shattered to pieces.

From being ripped and destroyed.

I don’t let people come close to me.

This wall helps to keep them away.

Only if you prove to me that you will not hurt me.

Then maybe I will let you in.

I know that this sounds harsh.

But I’ve learned you can’t really trust anyone these days.

They all portend to love you, so they can get close to you.

Then when they are close enough they break you and leave you.

No it’s not like I think that everyone will hurt me.

Is that I want to be ready for when it will happen.

Maybe there will come a day where I will break this wall down.

Where, I start trusting people again.

But it’s not today.

I don’t think it’s going to be any time soon.

Hey There!

 

Hey there!

I know that you will never get this, but I wanted to tell you how much I love you, and miss you!

Why did you have to go?

You were my older brother, you were my best friend.

To tell you the truth I wish that was me who died.

 How could just leave me?

Sometimes I am mad at you for leaving me.

 I mad at you, because you are not here to help me.

I am mad at you, for putting so much weight on my shoulders.

 I have days where I wish I was up there with you.

You left me, and I guess you expected me to stay strong, to make sure that the rest of them are okay.

Well they’re not really okay.  

You know the little sister that you left.

The one, that cries every night.

 The one, that wishes that she knew you better.

Well she misses you so much, that sometimes she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

You know the brother you left; well he just lost his first baby.

The one that won’t tell me how he is feeling, but I know that he is slowly dying inside.

I don’t know how to help him, that’s why I need you here.

I am trying to be strong for all of them, but I am not you.

You always knew how to help. 

Sometimes it doesn’t seem real. I have to stop and remind myself that you are gone.

I have to remind myself, that it’s not all just some crazy dream.

I always thought that we still had a lot of time together, oh how wrong I was.

I wish that I had called you one last time, and told you how much I loved you.

Maybe someday I will see you again.

Maybe I will be able to tell you, how it felt to lose you.

For now I just want to tell you that I love you and that I miss you.

 I will try my best to stay strong, and help in the best way possible.

I hope that if you are looking down on me that you are proud.

Well I will see you later.

Love you!

 

LOVE

 

Love hurts

Yet it feels good to love.

 It feels good to be loved.

But why am I so afraid of love?

Why am I afraid to let other people love me?

When, someone tells me that they love me.

I run and hide.

 I think I will be safe staying away from love.

But the truth is.

I can’t hide from love.

It will find me no matter what.

Sometimes I give in to love.

I trust the people around me.

They tell me they love me, but they always leave me.

Leave me broken, and feeling unloved.

I used to put up walls to block myself from love.

But those walls were never good enough.

They were never big or thick enough, to hold love back.

Love always, broke them down.

It always came unvented.

It tore me.

It broke me.

It destroyed me.

It left me.

I fought back trying to stop the pain.

But I was never strong enough.

Love took the fight out of me,

The first few time it came around.

I used to trust love.

But now I don’t.

I don’t know if I ever will again.

Because I don’t, want to be hurt.

I don’t want to be fixing myself,

After every time it leaves.

So next time it comes, I hope that it will stay forever.

But if it’s not forever, I don’t want it at all.



 

My Favorite Quotes

Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.

Jim Rohn  

 

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

Thomas A. Edison

 

A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.

Ayn Rand

 

Some say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice, I say the darker the flesh and the deeper the roots...

Tupac Shakur

 

Never trust anyone who wants what you've got. Friend or no, envy is an overwhelming emotion.

Eubie Blake

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

Helen Keller

 

 

These are only some of the quotes I like. Maybe some day I will share some more.

Crayons

Every child is an artist.  The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.  ~Pablo Picasso

Sometimes I want to turn back the clock, and go back where my life was care free.

Where I didn't have to worry about anything.

Where the only pain I felt was the one that I caused myself, because of doing something stupid.

Where the only thing I worried about is being in the moment, and having fun.

 Where, I was friends with everyone and everything.

Where, I could come up with amazing things using only my imagination.

Where, I didn’t care about being the best, I want to go back to enjoying my life.

I want to go back to the time where I loved life.

I want to go back to the time, and use crayons to draw anything I want, trees, houses, and other pointless things.

I want to go back to not caring about how I look, not caring about everything being perfect.

I just want to go back in time, and tell myself that being a grown up isn’t as fun as it looks like.

I want to tell myself to not hurry, and enjoy being a child.

I will tell myself that when you grow up, you start to worry about pointless things.

That when, you grow up you start having bad days.

It’s not that I heat being a grown up, is that I just want to enjoy being a child for just a little bit longer.

So to every child out there, don’t you dare say that you want to be a grown up. Because soon it will all end, and the only thing you will be left with is regret and wishing that you could turn back the clock. Like I am wishing now, but wishes don’t always come true.

Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon.  A happiness weapon.  A beauty bomb.  And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one.  It would explode high in the air - explode softly - and send thousands, millions, of little parachutes into the air.  Floating down to earth - boxes of Crayola's.  And we wouldn't go cheap, either - not little boxes of eight.  Boxes of sixty-four, with the sharpener built right in.  With silver and gold and copper, magenta and peach and lime, amber and umber and all the rest.  And people would smile and get a little funny look on their faces and cover the world with imagination.  ~Robert Fulghum